(this is a real story/occurrence… its sweet yet funny situation that happened to me in may 03, 2009) *this is an actual text i sent to this girl. it was like 30 text long.
God has the best sense of humor i have ever known. i am at the bus stop brainstorming for a song i am writing about this girl (ex gf) over the Kanye West “Say you Will” song. and i find myself liking this part about me wanting to tell this girl things but i didnt want a response. i just wanna know if she was doing good.
then when i restart the song, about a min into it, the bus arrives. i jump on the bus and the moment i attempt to sit down i feel my heart fall cause the same girl im writing bout is across the bus from me with the same scared unprepared look in her that i have myself. so trying to be the bigger person i walked over to her and asked if any one was sitting next to her and i took the seat. we chatted, i showed her who big sean was. as i looked away she took a pic of me and i caught her but played it off like i didnt notice.
so we chat and 5 mins later our brief visit is over. the funny thing is i was unable to finish the sad dark song because i realized how beautiful the day was. so i got home and decided i wanted to leave and feel more of the sunlight. i took the metro blue line to long beach and the whole train ride, the whole time there and the whole way back i thought of how my day would have been if i was with her and i found myself looking at things would of liked, laughing at things she would laugh at.
(me at the light house at the marina in Long Beach)
on the train back home there were these two couples to my left and the whole time going home the guys were holding the girls with their eyes closed and the women were holding them so dearly. i can tell by looking at the guys they wanted nothing more than to stay in the current position for the rest of their lives.
i sat their smiling at them then i felt a sudden emptiness. in the seat next to me, in my arms. everything. and the craziest thing about it was all i could think of was this cute girl on the bus that made me laugh and did the sweetest thing ever (take the pic). i get home and start staring at these old pics and at this smile i missed. a smile i miss being the reason for.
unknowingly wat the consequence this text might produce, i decided to write this because it was apparent that the girl on the bus has got a hold on me. and im afraid of her cause i am afraid of wat i have done, created and now have to live thru. i guess wat i am really trying to say is i dont want a response, a call or anything cause i feel more alive and better in those few mins on the bus than i have the last few months.
i am happy ur happy but too afraid to know anything else because i know it will hurt more than anything else. ignorance is bliss and wat was said and wasnt said was perfect and thats how i always want to remember you.
i hope u have a great everything.
ur truly the mysterious fauxhawk guy.
tagged as: me. personal. writing. love story. true story. text. tony park. tone park. bus.